It’s okay to be broken

A post from my new blog, In My Pocket, featuring the “Brokenness Aside” gabydoodle.

In My Pocket

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There are days when I wake up and God feels a million miles away. I feel a million miles away from God. There are days when I feel small and inconsequential. There are days when the shame that was lifted off of my shoulders a long time ago comes back to haunt me. There are days when I remember that I don’t have it all together. And in those days, God decides to show off. He sees the ruins of my soul and says He’s going to make them their home. He sees the cracks in my heart and says He’s going to shine through them. He sees my sin, my shortcomings, my faults – and He says, “My grace is enough. It’s okay to be broken. My power works best in weakness.”

It’s okay.
It’s okay to be broken, because He will make you whole. He’s going to take…

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So long, fear: a letter

In My Pocket

Hey fear. I think we should call it quits. I’m done with listening to you. I’m done with your little voice telling me that I cannot chase my dreams, that I cannot be myself. I’m done with you telling me that my soul can’t soar, that it can’t fly, that it can’t be who it wants to be. Fear, you’re getting in the way of me and my dreams. You say you’re trying to keep me from getting hurt. You think playing it safe is the better choice. You say you’re protecting me from getting my heart broken. You say you’re protecting me from facing rejection. But fear, you’re drowning me; you’re suffocating me. You’re not letting me live. And I cannot longer live my life pretending that I’m okay, that I’m doing what I love, that I’m completely happy with who I am, that I am doing what I…

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Where Beauty Hides

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Oh, this crazy world and its crazy standards. This world is ugly and messed up. And despite its ugliness, it has an incredibly loud voice. It tells us that beauty hides in size 1 clothes, that it hides behind makeup and being the center of attention and photoshopped images.

But that’s not where beauty hides.

Beauty hides in joy. Beauty hides in brokenness made new. Beauty shines through the woman who faced her fears. Beauty radiates in the soul of those who are brave. Beauty lives in those who choose to not believe the lies the world tells them. Beauty hides in a servant’s heart. Beauty lives in the heart of those who confront their insecurities. Beauty shines through those who believe the truth about themselves. Beauty lives in you.

“You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

[1 Peter 3:4 NLT]

P.S.: Here’s a little poem I wrote as a reminder for you 🙂

beauty does not come
in lipstick tubes,
in concealer,
in eyeshadow
and liquid eyeliner.

beauty isn’t
perfection,
beauty isn’t
fashion,
beauty isn’t
grabbing everyone’s attention.

beauty hides in
the soul of she who faced her fears
beauty hides in
the heart of he who is brave
beauty hides in
a joyful heart
beauty hides in
brokenness made new.

P.P.S: You are beautiful- not because of your looks- but because of your heart.

Abundantly [Doodle Devo]

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“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
[John 10:10]

God doesn’t want you to live a half-lived life. That’s not why Jesus came here. He came to give us a second chance at life. He has given us the opportunity to live a full life. Don’t waste it. Use the gifts you have been given to serve and love and show Jesus. Don’t let the enemy steal your joy. Life has been given to you. Love, lead, live fearlessly! Be strong and brave and courageous! Don’t be afraid to shine the light inside you. Live abundantly. 💜

It is Well

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Today was not my best day. It was sad, and full of tears and frustration and uncertainty.

I felt small. Unbelievably small and insignificant and inconsequential to God. My heart felt like it was going to break in tiny pieces. I didn’t know how today would end. I couldn’t understand why God let some things happen. I still don’t. But having my hope and faith in God reminded my soul that it is well.

My soul, it is well. O my soul, faint not. Trust in Him, my soul. It is well.
The wind and waves know Who he is. Mountains bow at his feet. My soul, it is well.
Faint not, my soul. He doesn’t miss a thing. He feels your pain. He has not forgotten you. He knows what’s happening in your heart. It is well. Whatever happens, faint not, my soul. My soul, I don’t know what tomorrow brings. But He does, and he says “it is well”.

It is well.

My friend, it is well.

Free To Be Me

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Lately, I’ve been trying to get God to speak to me. To tell me what He wants me to do. I wanted Him to answer me clearly. I wanted Him to make his will really obvious to me. I prayed to Him so hard about college, about staying home or studying abroad. I wanted Him to tell me what I was supposed to do with my life. I wanted Him to tell me how He wanted me to serve Him. I wanted his answer to be crystal clear. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed.

And He was silent.

I talked to my friend Jennie about this. She’s smart. And talented with words. And she told me this:

“Freedom can be scary but it’s also beautiful. And if we always knew the answers and what steps to take, we’d have no need for faith and trust. So remember this: Seek Him first. Don’t get frustrated when He isn’t making it black and white because He’s given you beautiful colors in your rainbow of choices. Seek Him, acknowledge Him. Talk to wise counsel. Trust the Holy Spirit to lead you. Remember too, this is your choice, this is your life.”

And then, lightbulb moment! I guess the reason God was silent is because He has given me freedom. He wants me to glorify Him freely. I am free to worship him in the way my heart desires. I am free to live out my art.

Writing poetry. Making gabydoodles. Singing. Going to college here in Santo Domingo. Going to college in the United States.

God doesn’t really care about what I choose to do as long as it gives Him glory. As long as it points back to Him, I am free to be me.

And that is awesome. And scary. But mainly awesome.

Little Balloon

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“Always how my story ends
Feels like I’m slipping from your hand.
Try and try, time and time again,
I want to hold on; hope I can.

No one is able to steal what is in Your hands.
No one is able to steal what is in Your hands.
No one is able to steal what is in Your hands.
No one is able to steal what is in Your hands.”

-Jenny & Tyler, Little Balloon

Listen to the song “Little Balloon” and you will know exactly how I’ve been feeling lately.

I’m always trying to make my relationship with Jesus work. I try to read my Bible daily, encourage others, do the right thing- but somehow, I mess up. That balloon slips away from my hands. And I’ll try to catch it again, and for one second I have it. But my story ends the same way every time. I end up weary and tired from chasing that balloon. I give up. The balloon slips away from my hand. I feel like I’m slipping from God’s hand.

But truth is, I am not.

I am not slipping from God’s hand and I never will. I was trying to hold on to me and my abilities, instead of holding on to God. I forgot about what God did for me and the fact that no one is able to steal what is in His hands. Nothing and no one can steal me from God’s hands. Even when things slip from my hands, I will never slip from God’s hands.

And neither will you.